


Are You Feeling What I'm Feeling?

by ahappyphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, 2009 Era (Phandom), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 16:57:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18319475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/pseuds/ahappyphil
Summary: It’s a reminder that Phil is a real person with flaws, a person with awkward hand positions and who’s probably just as nervous about whatever this thing is. He’s not a vivid dream perfectly constructed in Dan’s mind that will disappear once he wakes up.





	Are You Feeling What I'm Feeling?

The day was everything Dan had hoped it would be. From caramel macchiatos at Starbucks, to the sky bar, to an unsure first kiss on the Big Wheel, it was everything Dan could have wanted in a first date. 

Or was it not a date and just hanging out? Did Phil consider that a date? What constituted a date? Dan’s brain was kicking into high gear now that they were home...well, Phil’s home. Where they would be alone…which was both exhilarating and nerve racking. 

As Phil opens the front door to his family home with an exaggerated flourish, he immediately takes Dan’s hand and starts the tour. After the initial shock of omgimactuallyinamazingphilshouse wears off, he starts to feel that bubbling in his stomach again. This is what he’s wanted for months now- to be alone with Phil, but now that it's happening there is a constant swell of “what ifs” swirling in his brain. What if it’s awkward? What if they run out of things to say? What if they’re not on the same page about what this is after all? 

“I can hear you thinking over there,” Phil says as he continues the tour through the conservatory. 

That snaps Dan out of it. “Sorry, tell me more about the demon gnome that lives in the back garden .” 

They settle on the couch to watch a creature sci-fi film they both have seen a few times -a silent understanding that they might get too distracted for something new that required paying attention. Phil makes a bowl of popcorn because of course he does. They had dinner before heading home, but Dan’s spent enough hours talking to Phil to know that he takes his entertainment snacks very seriously. 

After 15 minutes of pretending to be interested in the film, the tension is eased, and they settle into what is slowly becoming their new norm. They joke, make stupid commentary, and make a habit of saying “that's you” whenever a monster appears on the screen . When Dan compares him to a particularly slimy-looking creature who’s currently drooling on the protagonist, Phil has had enough - he pins him down and licks a slobbery line up Dan’s face. 

“You’re disgusting, you know that!” Dan shrieks with absolutely no bite in his tone. 

“Your mum’s disgusting,” Phil retorts.

If this were anyone else, he would be worried about ruining the mood, but this is Phil, and their bants are what make them click. That easy back and forth is what started the spark of their friendship. However, he IS trying to set a mood, so he makes the decision to be brave and take advantage of their new position . “Please don’t talk about my mum while I’m trying to make out with you.”

Phil’s eyebrows raise like it’s a challenge and his somewhat shocked expression turns into a sly grin. “Is that what you’re trying to do? Guess you’ll have to try a bit harder.” The giggle he lets slip greatly undercutting the bravado in his deep voice. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“It feels weird not spending the entire day texting you,” Phil says while they’re taking a mid-make out snack break , "I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

Dan would laugh at that if he didn’t know exactly what he was talking about. Lately, his days are primarily centered around talking to Phil. If they’re not texting or flirting on twitter, they’re skyping. It’s his routine: wake up, talk to Phil, shower, think about Phil, eat, tell Phil what you’re eating... Instead of explaining that vulnerability, Dan responds with an understanding hum. 

He then decides to deflect this conversation by throwing the popcorn at Phil’s head, which results in an impromptu food fight that ends up being more of a tickle fight with the occasional kernel being lodged at the other. Dan let’s out a squeal as Phil pokes at his side until he relinquishes the bowl. Phil makes another animal noise that was definitely not meant to be attractive, but somehow still is. When he finally gets his prize, he turns to Dan and pokes the dimple that has formed on his smiling face.

Phil still eats the bits that fall on the couch because “we can’t let them go to waste Dan; I might starve”.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the movie is over, a truce is called, and the popcorn remnants are somewhat cleared up, they head up to the bedroom. Dan’s nerves start to bubble to the surface again. This is it; he’s not sure what “it” is , but it feels like another level entirely from the couch. Phil’s bed is right there in front of him, not behind a grainy screen. 

He suddenly feels wildly outside of his depths and the “what ifs” come crawling back to his mind. Phil leaves him to change into his pajamas while he goes to the bathroom. Should he wear his pajamas bottoms and take off his shirt or would that seem too presumptuous? One night a few weeks ago in an attempt to be seductive , he admitted to Phil that he usually sleeps in just his pants. That’s probably too much for their first night, right?

His insecurities about his body are not welcome tonight and he decides on keeping the shirt and bottoms. He just really wants this to go well and his anxiety riddled brain is already cocking it all up.

Right as he’s about to overthink himself over the edge, his phone dings. It’s two consecutive texts from Phil. 

**hey sry I haven’t texted all day. been busy  
>.< spent the day with this guy I really like **

Dan is fully aware that his stupid rosy patch is turning red on his stupid cheek. 

**O really XD**

How does Phil always have this effect on him? How does he know exactly what to do to calm down the ever-churning wheel of doubt in his mind without even trying? It’s like they have a psychic connection or something. ..even though he doesn’t believe in that shit.

 **Yeah he’s rlly fit o.O**

In the middle of Dan deleting and retyping his fifth response, Phil reemerges from the bathroom clad in an old t shirt and his contacts replaced by glasses. The chaos in his mind subsides for a minute. 

This is his best friend. 

Weird, wonderful Phil who listens to his rants about nothing and makes animal noises when words just won’t do. Phil, who he just spent the last two hours kissing on the couch. Damn, he’s a good kisser . Phil catches him staring a beat too long and produces that smile, the one that encompasses his entire face and causes his tongue to poke out through his teeth, which Dan has become particularly fond of. “Do I have toothpaste on my lips or something?” he asks as he brings his hands up to his face. 

Yeah, Dan thinks, he can do this. He can do anything with Phil.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

After Dan gets back from his turn in the bathroom, he finds Phil in bed with his laptop open. He makes his way over as Phil lifts up the covers and opens his arms inviting him in. 

This he can do. This is something they’ve talked about dozens of times- ever since the tickets were booked and they stayed up every night whispering about just how good it will feel to be in each other’s arms.

Dan is immediately compelled to kiss that little beauty spot on Phil’s cheek, the one he’s secretly a little obsessed with. It’s just so...human . It’s a reminder that Phil is a real person with flaws, a person with awkward hand positions and who’s probably just as nervous about whatever this thing is. He’s not a vivid dream perfectly constructed in Dan’s mind that will disappear once he wakes up. Phil is real and here, and it’s so grounding to feel his warmth as he rubs circles in Dan’s back and lets out a content sigh . 

“What was that for?” he mumbles into Dan’s hair after that little mark has been poked and kissed at least five times. 

“Nothing, I’m just happy.” He is; he’s so, so happy. 

As Phil puts his arm not holding the laptop around his shoulder, Dan travels lower and starts kissing his neck, simply because he can't quite believe that’s a thing he gets to do now. He’s decided that despite his nerves, maybe they’ll go further than kissing tomorrow. Whatever does happen, he trusts Phil. He’d trust Phil with his life, so fumbling through his first experiences with another guy shouldn’t be that scary. 

For now, this is perfection- cuddling in Phil’s bright duvet with every limb tangled up in each other. Phil types something out on twitter and closes his laptop. If Dan wasn’t so fully content in this moment, he might be more inquisitive about what he felt the need to tweet at 2:00 a.m. 

The only light is now coming from the street lights outside. After a few minutes of quiet ramblings and giggling because they’re both just so relieved that this has worked out, Phil whispers “I’ve wanted this for so long. I can't believe you’re here”. 

Dan figures he’ll never tire of hearing how this is not one-sided. Phil feels it too. The minute they laid eyes on each other at the train station, it was like exhaling a deep breath after holding it underwater for 3 solid months. It felt like a puzzle whose picture is starting to become clear; like the edge pieces were complete and now it was time to fill in the rest. 

“Me too,” he says as he huddles into Phil even further. 

Dan doesn’t know what will happen in the future. Hell, he doesn’t know what will happen tomorrow, but he does know he could get used to this. He knows that he’s never felt so completely understood, so accepted. He knows that if there was ever a person to go through life with, it’s Phil.

**Author's Note:**

> Reblog [here](https://ahappydnp.tumblr.com/post/183877997226/summary-its-a-reminder-that-phil-is-a-real) :)
> 
> Eternal thanks to @yikesola who held my hand and is the best support system a gal could ask for <3


End file.
